Category Archives: Political Smackdown 2009

Chuck Norris Goes "Walker, Texas Wingnut" Over Abortion, Slut Shaming, and…Mary Magaldene???

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We all know how wingnut celebs can go off the chain…see Michelle Bachmann, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, etc., etc,. and so on.

Some are more wingnutty then others, though…and a few just simply are off the charts.

Actor Chuck Norris — known for such distinct film and TV credits as The Rifleman, Missing in Action, and Walker: Texas Ranger – has become a rather outspoken Hard Right wingutter activist these days…and this week, he solidified his place in the Ulterverse of the Crazaa with a speil posted to Rich Lowry’s Human Events online rag addressing one of his favored pet peeves: namely, abortion as part of the Vast Leftist/Socialist/Secularist Conspiracy against God-Fearin’, Gun-Luvin’, Superkickin’ America. (His support for the secession of Texas from the Union aside, of course.)

The essay begins with Norris bemoaning current happenings in Washington D.C., regarding the current health care debate…especially what Chuckie sees as the dire threat of them Socialist Democrats to the safety of the preborn::

First, last Monday the Senate rejected the health care reform bill amendment introduced by Sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb., and Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, that would have banned federal funds from providing for abortion.

Then, on Thursday, the House of Representatives rushed the clandestine approval of an overinflated $1 trillion omnibus bill, which includes 5,224 earmarks — costing about $3.9 billion — and an underhanded provision that would overturn a long-standing budget ban in the District of Columbia (whose budget is overseen by Congress) for federally funding abortions.

Then, after the Democratic-controlled Senate cleared a procedural vote on Saturday needed to end a Republican filibuster, in yet another near-secret Sunday afternoon session, the Senate passed the omnibus bill and the provision for Washington, D.C. Tragically, the bill also would appropriate $648.5 million for “international family planning” funding (an increase of $103 million over 2009) and would give funding for Planned Parenthood and the United Nations Population Fund, both of which have pro-abortion agendas.

In short, while President Obama was accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, the Democrats in Congress drove a sword through the womb of the unborn.

Of course, this essay was written before today’s news that Senator Nelson was threatening to block and filibuster the entire Senate HCR bill unless his favored antiabortion riders were included (and the further reductions of the tiny crumbs of subsidies to the poor that would serve as mostly candy sprikle over the mountain of crap giveaway/blackmail to Big Insura)…but that’s more irrelevant to this story for now.

Now, Chuck Norris has every right to state his opposition to abortion, as does every American citizen. And if he has the bucks to use a rag like Human Events to spill his seeds of anger, well, more power to him.

It’s a bit more problematic, though, when you attempt to reenforce your case with rhetoric like this:

Washington certainly has reached a new low by forcing American citizens who oppose abortion to pay for abortions via their taxes in this massively comprehensive way. Is it intentionally trying to spark the next Boston Tea Party? When our greatest values are thrown under the omnibus, how do they expect us to respond? (Washington’s wild spending and abandonment of traditional values and our Founders’ vision is what prompted me to add a 64-page expansion to the new paperback version of my New York Times best-seller Black Belt Patriotism, being released in January through Fidelis Books. See the new Web site at [Norris's webpage redacted, just google for it yourself.].)

Let’s forget about the gross pimping of Norris’ tome (gee, I guess that rather than throw tea into Boston Harbor, righties should just Superkick them evil socialist Dems out of power??) and get to the main heart of his graph: that federal funds are being used to fund abortions.  Someone might want to alert Chuckles that there already is a prohibition in the law called the Hyde Amendment, that pretty much eliminates federal funding for such matters.

Now, what the Nelson amendment  — and its House equivalent by Michigan Rep. Bart Stupak that is already included in the House version of the HCR legislation (which, of course, wingnuts like Norris still oppose to the death as “socialist”) — would do is to deny any health care entity using money from whatever “exchange” is used to expand health care beyond the private system, if not any HC provider using the exchange itself, from offering any form of reproductive remedy for women….including abortion, contraception, or even selling condoms.  The amendment would also allow providers to use “conscienciious religious objection” to deny the provision of treatment such as contraception or any other form of prescription based on conservative morality…even for patients who have already paid for their services.

Hummph….I guess that throwing women’s autonomy and reproductive choices under the “onmibus” as well as allowing fundamentalist Christians a back door means of imposing their fascist morality on the rest of us isn’t considered enough for Norris to warrent “the next Boston Tea Party”, right?? And, like I said, he’ll still oppose the bill anyway due to its “reckless Washington spending” on giving those shiftless lazy niggaz and illegal aliens….errrrr, poor, government dependent Black and Latin@ poor folk….access to health care they clealy don’t deserve.  That must be reserved for Real Amerikins’…those who know how to dropkick Muslims, homosexuals, and slutty feminazis.  Uh-huh.

Next, Norris reveals the value of wingnut education though a (mis)reading of polling data:

Obama and Congress’ pro-abortion steps are being taken despite a recent nationwide survey that revealed that 4 in 5 U.S. adults would limit abortion’s legality. One in 3 would limit abortion to rape, incest or the saving of a mother’s life. One in 3 also would limit abortion to either the first three or first six months. Only 9 percent said abortion should be legal for any reason at any time during pregnancy.

Sounds interesting…except for the fact that you could interpret the same numbers to say that 67% would NOT limit the right of a woman to terminate pregnancy to the issues of rape, incest, or threat to the mother’s life; that the second study could just as easily be intrepreted to say that the same 67% would favor keeping abortion safe and legal within the first, if not the second trimester of pregnancy (where the overwhelming majority of abortions take place); and with the common sense note that it’s hardly likely that a woman would wait until after the 18th week of pregnancy just to decide to cut it off, so any third-trimester terminations are probably based on the dire threats to the life of the mother); and that very, very few people other than a fire-breathing radical feminist would even come close to promoting abortion on the 23rd week of pregnancy. Perhaps that’s why Norris doesn’t link the “nationwide survey” so that people of good cause can analyze it….common sense comes a dime a quadrillion for these folk.

After some more pimping and calls of the usual push poll, “call your Congressman and STOP this Modern preborn holocaust”, Norris gets to the heart of his mission as to how the war on the preborn dovetails with that other wingnut war without end, the “War on Christmas”. The results are, shall we say, stunning:

Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington’s wise men and women! Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?

Hold up a sec…..we are talking about Mary Magaldene, right??  The former prostitute who just so happened to be selected by The Lord Almighty to concieve through Virgin Birth (that means NO cheap whorish sex, Chuck) the future King of Kings and Prince of Peace…the one who while living talked about doing onto others as you would “the least of thee”; the one who gave the Sermon on the Mount; the one who drove the Moneychangers out of the Temple?? And….the one who said that thing about “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”?? I know, I know…that’s not the Wingnut version of the story of Jesus Christ that Chuck Norris would abide to, but it is His words as spoken in the Holy Word that is the Bible…why the hell would Obama “liberals” stone Holy Mary for that?? And I would probably guess that Mary, Mother of God, probably would be willing to accept health care (or, at least, a clean and safe manger) to bring Jesus into this world, right?? Because, I don’t really think that The Lord would take too kindly to the mother of his Son being stoned…see the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah for lesser offenses like raping angels.

In fact, Chuckie, you might want to consider your Teabagger allies before you run any smack about liberals wanting to stone women and kill babies….because wasn’t Herod  more of a right-winger who would side with the Moneychangers??

And as for “being erased from history and the influence of mankind”…would that include those who died due to the Inquisition or the Middle Ages wars of religion??

Ahhhh…yeah. Herodcare, indeed.

Of course, as Renee from Womanist Musings pointed out so clearly, all Norris is revealing is his own misogynistic myopia:

What’s a little holiday slut shaming between devout Christians, right?  Perhaps, if women’s bodies were not stigmatized, being an unwed mother would not be problematic?  It seems like a reasonable assumption to me.  Instead of giving birth in a manger, socialized healthcare would mean pre-natal care (shocking, I know) and a safe delivery in a hospital….but hey, it’s only baby Jesus, right?  Who needs good medical care when you are giving birth to the son of God?  Interestingly enough, I think Herod would be more inline with present day Conservative positions than Obama….but hey, who needs historical accuracy and logic when you have disciplining and slut shaming to do.  Of course, Mary did keep her legs crossed but being a woman in a patriarchal society means that no matter the situation, you are always guilty of something.

I’m so sure that Chuckles would be so caring for all the other poor single women who were pregnant, barefoot, and suffering at that time.  Sure, he would.

Oh, but wait….Norris isn’t finished thursting yet

America doesn’t need to turn the page on culture wars, such as the one on abortion. It needs to reopen the pages of its history to our Founders’ elevated views of and rights for all human beings (including those in the womb), as documented in the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution. We need to revive and re-instill their value of humanity back into society, our children and our children’s children.

And most of all, Washington needs to run our government as Thomas Jefferson outlined in an 1809 letter: “The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only legitimate object of good government.”

Oh, so the Declaration of Independence actualy did say that all unborn children were as worthy of life as the already born…and that all human beings  — including women, Blacks (that slavery thing excluded), poor people without wealth or property, and of course the Native and Hispanic population not unfortunate enough to get slaughtered and their homelands stolen from under them — are worthy of protection for their freedom of religion…as long as that religion serves The Bible According to Rush Limbaugh. Oh, wait…it didn’t?? And most of the Founding Fathers were actually Deists who didn’t believe in God….and specifically opposed mixing Church and State?? What are ‘ya…an evil athiest Socialist Liberal Muslim from Kenya??? Why, you anti-American Commie, I oughta…. *smack to the ground*

I could say something against all this crap, but Renee says it so much better than I could, so I’ll just borrow from her.

When all else fails, just call upon the founders because they weren’t in the least bit flawed, like every other person that has walked the planet.  We can just ignore that the rights that they were fighting for benefitted privileged, rich, educated White men, who interestingly enough, aside from the educated part, are quite a bit like Norris himself.  Women and Blacks weren’t even considered people but hey, why let a little thing like that tarnish the image of the saintly founders? Perhaps, the lure of manifest destiny and the slaughter of millions of First Nations peoples kept them to busy to consider the morality of their actions.  You know how it is when you get an idea in your head, if you a goal driven person.

When you examine who is touting conservative values, how can their views be taken seriously?  From Sara Palin to Chuck Norris, not a one of them has a functioning brain cell between them.  They always hearken back to this mythical past, ignoring that in reality, for those living during that time it was a nightmare.  Before the women’s movement there were no domestic violence shelters.  How many women lived with their abusers with no possibility of escape?  Before Roe vs Wade, how many women died in back alley abortions?  If the past was perfect, we should ask who was it perfect for because I am certain that an unemployed, single Black mother has it rough today and she would have had it even worse in previous times.

When we pull the curtain away from the wizard, what we see is failed logic desperately employed to reduce the lives of women, while maintaining patriarchal power.  If Norris is so concerned about teh babies, why isn’t he actively working to fight child poverty or for better education in schools? The bottom line is that none of this concern troll knuckle twisting is really about concern for children; it is about disciplining women for daring to demand control over their reproduction.   If children really mattered, they would not be abused, undereducated, and used as a political tools by people.

Oh, but Rene..folks like Walker, Texas Wingnut are certainly concerned about the education of our youth…which is why he is so keen on black belts and karate training. How else should a right-wing whackjob deal with women whom he wants to control???

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Ahhh, What Glorious Allies You Have, Donna Hughes…ChristWire.org [Spoofs] Teabaggers Against Rhode Island "Pornstitution" [Updated]

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Note: Updated, scroll to bottom.

Oh, but I really MUST share this with you all…this is waaaay too precious.

It seems that I’ve attracted a fundie Christian troll for my efforts to defend Elizabeth Wood  against the sexual McCarthyite attack from Donna Hughes.

This comment is from a woman named Allison that was posted to my fiskdown against Hughes:

Really? You guys think prostitution should be legal? Oh c’mon, it’s a crime. That’s a no brainer. And what is it doing for Rhode Island? It’s giving the state a horrible reputation as a den of sin and immorality. All over the national news and blogosphere. It’s just offensive and wrong.

Foreign Sex Radicals Invade Nastiest State in US to Keep 16yo Strippers and Hookers Legal
http://christwire.org/2009/08/foreign-sex-radical…

Now…it’s not Allison’s comment that got my interest…she’s entitled to her opinion, as is anyone who decides to post their comments here.

But click on that link she provides, and it reveals a much more fascinating worldview.

Turns out that the link is to a fundamentalist evangelical Christian outfit called ChristWire.org, and the article cited is a glowing testimonial to Donna Hughes…and an indictment of the evil threat of porn and other ungodly perversions to decent society.

The title gives a lot of the game away:

Foreign Sex Radicals Invade Nastiest State in US to Keep 16yo Strippers and Hookers Legal

And the opening rhetoric is so classic for fundamentalist Christian Rightists:

Right now, and I mean RIGHT NOW! prostitutes and underage strippers are LEGALLY selling themselves in one corner of this incredible country of ours. That’s right, one wonderful little state has gone out of its way to protect the rights of hookers to spread their legs and disease. This place is also committed to letting our little girls while vile old men grope them with grubby dollar bills. All this is done with full protection of the police and the democrats in the state legistlature.

What is this evil nasty state?? Must be Nevada, right???  Ahhhh…wrong.

Where are these laws of freedom and self-expression on the books in the age of Obama? This sanctuary of scum is called the State of Rhode Island. The place that practically proclaims at its borders, “Welcome you hedonistic sex workers and pole dancers, and men and boys too! Now drop your undies and get to work!”

Now, someone must have forgot to tell the author of this claptrap, Stephenson Billings, that pole dancing is actually legal in plenty of other states other than Rhode Island, or that “hedonistic sex workers” don’t necessarily have to go to that tiny state to enjoy themselves freely. And I’d think that most of those laws preceded Prez O’s ascension to the POTUS, regardless of what he thinks. (BTW, he doesn’t think highly of Obama, either, as we shall see anon.)

Rhode Island. Most of us couldn’t find this sneaky little street walker on a roadmap. Here’s a hint: it hangs like the diseased genatalia of New England. And sick it is, my friends! The veiny little pouch of debauchery and radicalism is threatening to infect America with its sinful liberal revision of what it means to be free. Prostitution and pole dancing are reputedly one of the few growth industries in this moribund mansack (no pun intended). What’s worse, when a handful of local Christians suggested outlawing these sins against human decency, the greatest pervs in the world jumped on top of themselves to defend it.

Oh, yeah…the Babylon of New England. The Gommorah of the Northeast. Never mind that New York is less than a heartbeat away…here’s where the real threat to fundie wingnutters like Billings resides.

But who are those “handful of local Christians”??  Well, Billings doesn’t tell us, but he does provide the link to their leader: guess who it happens to be??

Can you say “Donna Hughes”??

Wait a Goddess damn minute…isn’t she supposed to be a feminist?? Even…a RADICAL FEMINIST?? Someone whom fundie evangelical rightie orgs like ChristWire.org should be most opposed to from the core of their being?? Hell, she’s even a  professor of Women’s Studies at University of Rhode Island, FFS…certainly most hard right antifeminist Christians would be appalled to be on the same side as such evil leftist radicals….right??

Oh, but when you share the same myopic anti-sex values and biases, though, all differences seem to fade out. Especially when the enemy is the same.

Those “greatest pervs in the world” that Billings is talking about?? Why, that would be those 31 professors who signed the infamous letter to the Rhode Island legislators opposing the proposed legislation against “indoor prostitution”. The very same letter led in the heading by…..Elizabeth Wood and Robert Weitzer.

The very same letter that was maligned by Donna Hughes and Margaret Brooks in that epic slam they posted to the CoalitionAgainstTrafficking.org website..the one that all but labled Elizabeth Wood as a nut, a slut, a pedophile, an exhibitionist, a flasher, and someone who should basically be tarred, feathered, tatooed with a scarlet letter “S” on her ass, and burned at the stake for her evil lustful ways…or at least, be fired from her teaching job.

And oh, the folks at ChristWire.org just love them some Donna Hughes…they slavishly quote her assault on “sex radicals” with remarkable relish…in the same way that Mel Gibson in The Passion of the Christ glorified Jesus’s Crucifixion:

But one local woman scholar is not taking this assault lying down. Donna Hughes, of Citizens Against Trafficking, has thoroughly explored these supporters and her discoveries are disturbing. In her latest report, she found that the 50 leaders of this group, all of whom claim to be college professors, are, “sex radicals, meaning they oppose any limits on any sexual behavior as long as it has the superficial appearance of being consensual.” The leader of this group, George Washington University Professor Ronald Weitzer has said, “Many prostituted women and girls experience ‘moderate-to-high job satisfaction’ and think they provide a valuable service.” If it feels good, do it?

Many other of these borderline “sex offenders,” as Hughes calls them, are from the Netherlands and New Zealand, where kiddie porn and sadomashistic sex are the norm. During her research the vivacious Woods discovered this group is composed of a self-proclaimed exhibitionist who has stated “I think that sex with animals can be consensual!”, child nudism advocates, $pread Magazine models, an S&M fetishist with an academic position and the list goes on and on. It is an, “international campaign orchestrated using Internet technologies, such as blogs, Twitter, and Facebook.” The internet strikes again!

Let’s ignore the gross errors of this passage…actually, let’s not, because Billings manages in his zeal to get the women mixed up; it was Hughes who did most of the “research” on the “sex radicals”, not Elizabeth WOOD (not “Woods”); and it was Elizabeth — ONE WOMAN — who was tarnished as a $pread mag model, S&M fetishist, and a child nudism advocate….not different women. (And in fact, Weitzer doesn’t use the term “prostituted women”, only Hughes does that; he used the term “sex worker”.)

But, hey…when you are on a roll raging against smut and filth and doing God’s work to cleanse the country of “liberal values” and sin and immorality, what’s facts to ge in the way??  Or..proper attribution?? Or…correct syntax??

With the fortitude of a man, Hughes has delved deep into the heart of this sex-crazed world. Along with Club Fantasies, Club Desire,Airport Anal, Hooters, Steam Alley, Tazza’s Topless, Rough Sex Repertory Company, Foxy Lady, Satin Doll Gentlemen’s Club, Cheater’s, the Sportsman’s Inn, Barrington “Country Club,” Priests & Pros, Trixx – All Male Revue and Club Balloons.

Hold up…”the fortitude of a man”?!?!  Oh, I get it…women aren’t supposed to have fortitude?? Until they decide to represent themselvew in right-wing causes like busting sexual nonconformists??

And also…I’m sure that hotlinking all those nasty promotion sites of all those evil sex places was done only for Christ-centered research. Or to alert the faithful to avoid such dens of sexual freakery. Really.

And….Hooters?? Gee, I didn’t know that they went full hardcore…I thought that they only went as far as T-shirts and nylons??

Oh, but it gets so much better…it seems that the good Christian folk at ChristWire are particularly obsessed with race as well….witness this comment in the ensuing thread that accompanied the article:

Adam Nelson says:

August 17, 2009 at 6:29 am

What a coincidence. North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia have some of the largest urban minority centers. Let’s see how many strip clubs there are in Alaska, Wyoming, Montana or Wisconsin…in non-urban minority areas

To a response that that might be just a wee bit racist and not too Christian, Adam responds thusly:

Adam Nelson says:

August 17, 2009 at 6:49 am

How is stating fact being a racist? You know urban centers and decadent downtown slums have a bunch of nasty clubs. Why deny it?

Please go to a nice, gated community or a good rural area with several local churches and see how many strip joints you find there? It will be rare, and if they are allowed, you can bet if you research it the community is fighting to get them to leave.

It would be kind of surprising…were it not coming from a site who publishes articles with such titles as “Obama is Literally Hitler” and Our Christian Nation Must Destroy The Communist Heathens!

Yup, we are in Bircher/Birther/Teabagger territory, y’all…the kind that most real feminists would be horrified to step foot in.  But Donna Hughes, professor of Women’s Studies and favored of the GenderBorg Collective of Radical Womyn Rescuing Pornstituted Women From Patriarchy, literally bathes in this crap every day…and makes no apologies for it.

Frankly, I feel so much better off with Elizabeth and the “sex radicals”…they are so much more moral than these clowns.


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Update (8-18/09): Well now….it seems that I may have pulled the trigger just a bit too soon on ChristWire,org, because commentors (like Iamcuriousblue and SnowdropExplodes) have informed me that that particular site is more of a satirical spoof of right-wing Christianity than anything real. (IACB referenced me to this article to back up his parody claim.) So, I reread some more of their articles, and I can conclude that either they are pretty damn good spoofers (although, they could mix in a disclaimer now and then to keep us straight), or really, really over the top and crazy. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the former….though, there probably are readers and commentators there (like the cited Adam Nelson) who truly believe in all that stuff and react accordingly.

On the other hand, some of the more accusatory comments here seem to come from legitimate right-wingers unconnected with ChristWire.org who really do feel strongly about bashing prostitutes and other “ungodly” folk…and I have a response for them upcoming.


Foreign Sex Radicals Invade Nastiest State in US to Keep 16yo Strippers and Hookers Legal

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Sarah Palin's Resignation: The Ultimate Eject/Flameout/Smack-Off (With Proofreader's Update)

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[Updated below...scroll to bottom.]

WOW.

Just when you think that Wasilla, Alaska’s most prominent citizen politician/grandma/hockey mom/wingnut in heels couldn’t get any whackier…she goes and pulls THIS.

First, she outdoes even the lamest “Clone” on Jim Rome’s sports talk show who manages to get in over his head with one bad gloss too many, and pulls an “Ahhh….errrrrrr….Eject!!!….OUT!!!” on the citizens of Alaska by resigning from her Governor’s seat less than two years after her ascension to the Mansion.

And then…she does the equivalent of one of the original Van Smack Sins: she read her own fax. As in, that crazy speech she gave anouncing her quitting..errrrr, stepping down.

Problem was, there was no buzzer to stop this really bad call.  Or…maybe it wasn’t such a problem.

Here’s the video version of Palin’s resignation speech, via CNN:


Alaska Governor/2008 Republican Party Vice-Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin announcing her resignation from the Governor’s Seat (CNN, via YouTube)

But let’s ignore for the moment the general atmosphere surrounding the Lake Lucille “speech”: the wild geese cackling behind her, the shell-shocked looks of Palin’s folks next to her, etc. etc., and focus on the speech itself….in particular, the transcript that was handed out to the media just before Saint Sarah of Wasilla threw herself to the windmills.

That would be the same transcript that was posted to the official Alaska Governor’s website that day, and (though somewhat cleaned up) to other media outlets.

While it would take an entire book to analyze the grand bizarro sureallism of that moment, a few highlights will suffice.

Let’s begin at the beginning, as it were.

Hi Alaska, I appreciate speaking directly to you, the people I serve, as your Governor.

People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing’s more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine.

Right out the bat: “Hi, Alaska”?!?! Gee, Governor, is that how you should salute your citizens in an official transcript?? Wouldn’t “Good evening, fellow Alaskans” be a bit more, say, professional??

And so funny to hear you, Governor Palin, say that nothing is more important than you being Governor…just when you are about to resign from that post after only one and a half years of service.

Jumping ahead a bit, as I will do frequently:

Alaska’s mission – to contribute to America. We’re strategic in the world as the air crossroads of the world, as a gatekeeper of the continent. Bold visionaries knew this – Alaska would be part of America’s great destiny.

Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our natural resources. This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, and oil and gas. It’s energy! God gave us energy.

Just as God gave us nice warm pipelines for the caribou to keep warm, and rifles for you to shoot deer from your plane, right, Governor??

Next, the soon-to-be-ex-Guv hashed out a list of her “accomplishments” as governor, most of them related to servicing the oil industry…the same one that allowed her to boast about ofering $2,000 checks to every Alaskan, her opposition to evil Democrat Obamination “Socialism” nonewithstanding:

So much success in this first term – and with this success I am proud to take credit… for hiring the right people! Our goal was to achieve a gasline project, more fair oil and gas valuation, and ethics reform in four years. We did it in two. It’s because of the people… good public servants surrounding the Governor’s office, with servants’ hearts and astounding work ethic… they are Alaska’s success!

We are doing well! I wish you’d hear more from the media of your state’s progress and how we tackle Outside interests – daily – special interests that would stymie our state. Even those debt-ridden stimulus dollars that would force the heavy hand of federal government into our communities with an “all-knowing attitude” – I have taken the slings and arrows with that unpopular move to veto because I know being right is better than being popular. Some of those dollars would harm Alaska and harm America – I resisted those dollars because of the obscene national debt we’re forcing our children to pay, because of today’s Big Government spending; it’s immoral and doesn’t even make economic sense!

Another accomplishment – our Law Department protected states’ rights – two huge U.S. Supreme Court reversals came down against that liberal Ninth Circuit, deciding in our state’s favor over the last two weeks. We’re protectors of our Constitution – federalists protect states’ rights as mandated in 10th amendment.

Of course, when those obscene federal dollars go to padding the profits of the oil industry, or to build “bridges to nowhere” or certain sports arenas in one’s home town, she has a slightly different tune.

And how nice to claim that good old Sagebrush Populist rhetoric against Teh EVIL Federal Guviment and those dasterdly  LEEEEEE-brols….considering how much she proffited off the wealthy (how was that $150,000 wardrobe budget, anyway???) and defended the usual soak-the-poor Bush policies.

Political operatives descended on Alaska last August, digging for dirt. The ethics law I championed became their weapon of choice. Over the past nine months I’ve been accused of all sorts of frivolous ethics violations – such as holding a fish in a photograph, wearing a jacket with a logo on it, and answering reporters’ questions.

Every one – all 15 of the ethics complaints have been dismissed. We’ve won! But it hasn’t been cheap – the State has wasted thousands of hours of your time and shelled out some two million of your dollars to respond to “opposition research” – that’s money not going to fund teachers or troopers – or safer roads. And this political absurdity, the “politics of personal destruction” … Todd and I are looking at more than half a million dollars in legal bills in order to set the record straight. And what about the people who offer up these silly accusations? It doesn’t cost them a dime so they’re not going to stop draining public resources – spending other peoples’ money in their game.

It’s pretty insane – my staff and I spend most of our day dealing with this instead of progressing our state now. I know I promised no more “politics as usual,” but this isn’t what anyone had in mind for Alaska.

It would be so touching would it have been true…problem was, she wasn’t totally acquitted of all her ethics issues; in fact, she was reprimanded by the Alaska Senate for three particular violations of ethics, yet never disciplined. Not to mention that the “half a million dollars” in legal bills would have been paid for out of her SarahPAC committee…that is, if it was able to raise that much money.

Life is too short to compromise time and resources… it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: “Sit down and shut up”, but that’s the worthless, easy path; that’s a quitter’s way out. And a problem in our country today is apathy. It would be apathetic to just hunker down and “go with the flow”.

Nah, only dead fish “go with the flow”.

No. Productive, fulfilled people determine where to put their efforts, choosing to wisely utilize precious time… to build up.

And there is such a need to build up and fight for our state and our country. I choose to fight for it! And I’ll work hard for others who still believe in free enterprise and smaller government; strong national security for our country and support for our troops; energy independence; and for those who will protect freedom and equality and life… I’ll work for and campaign for those proud to be American, and those who are inspired by our ideals and won’t deride them.

I will support others who seek to serve, in or out of office, for the right reasons, and I don’t care what party they’re in or no party at all. Inside Alaska – or Outside Alaska.

But I won’t do it from the Governor’s desk.

Actually, only dead salmon swim downhill with the flow; every other fish I’ve seen manages to go with the flow quite well. And what delicious irony: talking about the “quitter’s way out” while actually….quitting your day job. A unique, mavericky concept, I’d say.

And, of course, she defends herself as the latter day Joan of Arc, the female conservative Don Quixote slaying the evil windmills of Big Guviment Liberalism/Sellout, Cut-And-Run Democrat Socialism. Do I detect more of a pitch for a Fixed Noise gabfest seat here?? You betcha.

But here is where it starts going straight into Cloud Cookoo Land for St. Sarah of Wasilla…here comes the basketball analogy from the woman who played point guard in high school and was once glossed, with much consternation to Ann and Nancy Wilson of the rock group Heart, “Sarah the Barracuda”:

My choice is to take a stand and effect change – not hit our heads against the wall and watch valuable state time and money, millions of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment. Rather, we know we can effect positive change outside government at this moment in time, on another scale, and actually make a difference for our priorities – and so we will, for Alaskans and for Americans.

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – sports… basketball. I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can win. And I’m doing that – keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities – smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it’s time to pass the ball – for victory.

Actually, Ms. Palin, a good point guard knows how to break a full court press with the help of his/her teamates by putting people in the right positions and passing the ball enough to the right teammates to avoid a turnover or a 10-second half-court violation. A better analogy to what you are actually doing would be to have the point guard simply attack the press by…throwing the ball away out of bounds, then moaning to the refs about how too close the defenders are to you. Also, considering that your team has — to continue the basketball analogy — not particularly done a good job of scoring of late, as witnessed by the results of the last pickup game…errrrr. election, perhaps it may be time to either change up the strategy or bench the point guard for someone a bit more agile?? If you can’t handle Barack Obama one-on-one, how in the hell do you think that you can handle a full court press with Obama and Hillary Clinton and Newt Gingrich and Mittens Romney all up in your grill??

Some Alaskans don’t mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do. I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor. And my children won’t allow it either.

Some will question the timing. Let’s just say, this decision has been in the works for awhile…

In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life – my children (where the count was unanimous… well, in response to asking: “Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children’s future from outside the Governor’s office?” It was four “yes’s” and one “hell yeah!” The “hell yeah” sealed it – and someday I’ll talk about the details of that… I think much of it had to do with the kids seeing their baby brother Trig mocked by some pretty mean-spirited adults recently.) Um, by the way, sure wish folks could ever, ever understand that we all could learn so much from someone like Trig – I know he needs me, but I need him even more… what a child can offer to set priorities right – that time is precious… the world needs more “Trigs”, not fewer.

But, but…b-b-b-b–but, Governor Palin…..isn’t being a Governor a part of your JOB??? I’d hardly think that since an entire three month sabbatical running as John McCain’s running mate and doing speeches throughout the lower 48 states would put that much of a dent on your schedule (I mean, doing the rubber chicken circuit certainly doesn’t stop  Bo Jindal from exercising his duties as Louisiana governor, doesn’t it??), then I figure that having your legal team do all the donkey work of defending you from all those legal issues at home would not necessarily interfere with your duties…right???

Oh…and as for using Trig as a human shield to cover your ass (and no, Governor, it is not so fine, either); did you twinkle your keys at him to get him to agree with your decision?? (Now, some would bring into the discussion the notion that Trig is not your son in the first place, but rather your daughter’s sun….but I won’t go there. Unlike you and the “Obama’s not a US citizen/Obama’s trained in a Indonesian radical Islamic madrassa sect/Obama is a tool of violent anti-American commie racists like Jerimiah Wright and Bill Ayers” sect to which you played your speeches to during the campain, I don’t believe in degenerating to rumors.)

*((Gotta put First Things First))*

First things first: as Governor, I love my job and I love Alaska. It hurts to make this choice but I am doing what’s best for Alaska. I’ve explained why… though I think of the saying on my parents’ refrigerator that says “Don’t explain: your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.”

But I have given my reasons… no more “politics as usual” and I am taking my fight for what’s right – for Alaska – in a new direction.

Now…I would assume that that heading was part of the original transcript, but someone forgot to remove it prior to putting out the press relaese.  But, still…wouldn’t it be a bit more professional of me to suggest that maybe the state of Alaska’s Governor’s staff isn’t that much broke that they couldn’t have one proofreader to edit the speech BEFORE it goes out??

And we can certainly tell what this “new direction” will be: either as a Fixed Noise host or sub for InSanity or BillO or Beck, or even better, as Boss Limbaugh’s official fluffer…to grease the wheels for the ultimate run in 2012…either as the maverick Repub or an Independent.

In the words of General MacArthur said, “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.”

Damn.  Did Governor Palin miss out on English class because she was too busy beating full-court presses???  Paging Dr. Syntax, Dr. Syntax…report to the Alaska Governor’s Mansion, STAT!!!! And you can add a freakin’ American historian, too, since it was General Smith, not General MacArthur, who is credited with that quote.

On the other hand…I guess that since Governor Quitter Spice does consider resigning from her job as an advance in another direction, I guess that she must have thought she was on the right path.

And so we have…our winner of the Political Smack-Off for 2009. Not even Mark Sanford or Sammy Joe the Mob Leader or Michelle Bachmann could flame out so vividly.

And…Lisa Ann would still kick her ass. Physically, ethically, and morally. And she’s still a thousand times sexier, too. Your myopia, wingnut wankers.


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I’ll just leave it to the capable hands of Keith Olbermann for the last word (for now) on Quitter Spice.


Countdown with Keith Olbermann (MSNBC): 7/3/09 First segment on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin’s resignation announcement, including interview with Vanity Fair editor/Palin biographer Todd Purdum (via YouTube)


And then, there is that “I will sue anyone who implies that there are rumors of future indictments” meme…which KO and targetted blogger Shannyn Moore dispatch quite nicely:

Countdown with Keith Olbermann (MSNBC): 7/3/09 Second segment on threats from Sarah Palin’s legal team to sue anyone for “defamation” regarding rumors of possible indictments, featureing interview with targeted blogger/Huffington Post columnist Shannyn Moore (via YouTube)


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Update 7/22/09:

Well, well, well…seems like soon-to-be-Ex-Governor Palin must have neglected her speechwriters, too….or else she was winging it as much with that speech as she has been with everything else.

The folks at Vanity Fair got a hold of the original transcript of the Palin resignation speech (NOT the copy relased at the Governor’s Office site and fisked here) and promptly sent their proofreaders and editors to work in debugging it.  The results, and their suggested changes, are now on display here. Trust me…you’ll enjoy this one.

Oh..and looky here….about those 15 allegations of ethics misconduct that Quitter Spice says was disproven?? Here comes #16..and this one she may not be able to beat back so glibbly.

And, in case that isn’t enough….guess who might just be coming to Alaska for a dancing tour??  Two word hint: Serra. Paylin. Heheh.



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The Muller/Gawker/Olbermann Fracus: Did KO Get Owned By "Mancow"??

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You all know how much of a fan I am of Keith Olbermann…I post clips of his smackdowns of the Right religiously.

That doesn’t mean, though, that I consider him perfect the way Erick Erickson considers Boss Limbaugh…he can be human, he can make mistakes…and he on occasion can allow his ego to get him owned.

Yes, I acknowledge that KO has a huge ego, and that’s OK by me, because he is so correct on the fundamentals.

Problem is, sometimes that ego can get in the way of the facts and can expose one to be potentially decieved.

As could be the case, ultimately, with his most recent public moment: The “waterboarding” of Chicago right-wing gabber Erich “Mancow” Muller to prove how evil waterboarding really is.

To reset the entire fracus from the beginning; Olbermann originally challenged Fixed Noise wingnut Sean Hannity to endure a waterboarding to prove Hannity’s point (shared by most on the Right) that waterboarding wasn’t torture, pledging to contribute $1,000 for every second that Hannity lasted to a military families’ support fund. Hannity had blurted the standard right-wing party line that waterboarding was not torture and wasn’t as harmful as “liberals” were saying, and that it and other “enhanced interrogation techniques” were neccessary to extract information from “terrorists” and thusly prevent another terrorist attack such as the September 11, 2001 attacks on New York, DC, and Pennsylvania. KO made it such an issue that he dedicated his “Oddball” segment on his program Countdown with Keith Olbermann to counting up the days in which Hannity was chickening out on delivering on his promise.

Well…on May 23rd, WLS-AM right-wing radio shock jock “Mancow” Muller decided to either prove Hannity wrong, or simply pull off the publicity stunt of a lifetime; he offered himself to simulate a waterboarding to see how long he could hold out. Turned out, he bailed after six seconds, after which he got serious religion and testified about the ultimate evil of waterboarding.  KO was so impressed (or so taken) that he had Muller on his show to elaborate on his experiences, and as a buffer to prove that even right-wingers could see that waterboarding was not only torture, but even tantimont to drowning.

Not so impressed, however, was the website Gawker.com….which has had a long history of needling Olbermann; two weeks earlier, they had posted a series of stories (reprinted from a media gossip rag called CityFile) concerning KO’s grieving over and eulogizing the recent death of his mother; effectively calling him out for playing hooky out of his job by not alerting his employers of his absence, and for letting his alleged ego get in the way of company business (apparently even getting into it with Rachel Maddow (Twitter ID: @maddow) over the booking of Ben Affleck as a guest on his show…he ultimately appeared on Rachel’s show due to, according to KO, a scheduling error by Affleck’s publishing agent). KO, in response, used his May 15th “WTF!?!” segment of his show to rip Gawker and reporter John Cook a new one for shoddy journalism and spreading gossip.

That might have been the reason why Gawker (and KO via MSNBC) was approached by an anonymous tipster who passed on a series of emails which together proposed that the entire Mancow “waterboarding” was a giant hoax, invented primarily to give Mancow free publicity and to spoof Olbermann. The emails generally center around Linda Shafran, who was Miller’s publicist as well as an agent for Jerry Springer, and whom led a search for someone to simulate (or fake) the waterboarding.

Gawker then decided to break the story on their website; with followups appearing here and here. Basically, they declared Mancow to be a faker whose experience didn’t even come close to the real thing…..and they even went back and retrieved a 2008 clip of columnist Christopher Hitchens being waterboarded under more realistic (as in, what actual victims of waterboarding experienced) to prove their point. (Their issue was not that they questioned that waterboarding was morally wrong or torture; but the use of a right-winger and a known spoofer and publicity hound by Olbermann to prove that point.)

That led to Friday’s (May 30th) “WTF!?!” closing segment on Countdown, where KO decided to unleash havoc on Gawker for their “right-wing conspiracy” reporting and calling them “conspiracy theorists”… and to have “Mancow” Muller on for his closing segment one more time to defend himself.

And that led to Gawker columnist John Cook issuing a rebuttal at Gawker.com standing by their story and all but calling out Olbermann as a dunce for allowing a right-winger to pwn him.

Now…like I said, this should be prefaced with the fact that Gawker.com does have a rich history of smacking down KO for more than the usual political reasons; there is also some very personal attacks on Olbermann for his weight, his private sex life, and his personal finances from even as far back as 2008. That might make their claim that the issue isn’t as much torture but Olbermann’s use of a right-wing “shock jock” to prove his case about waterboarding and allowing himself to be used by Muller, more than a bit hollow.

And, you can also make the case that even if the Mancow waterboarding was more than a bit staged and faked, and that there are other examples out there of the practice being executed under far more “realistic” conditions (as in Christopher Hitchens’ aformentioned waterboarding last year and a similar occurence by a Playboy magazine journalist this year (h/t to Dr. James Benjamin over at Notes From Underground for pointing me to the latter story), it certainly looked realistic enough to prove the point about it being torture. Not everybody gets a bucket full of water poured down your throat while your nose is being held and you are blindfolded, you know.

Nevertheless, I do think that KO could have used a better example of someone “enduring” waterboarding than the likes of Mancow Muller, who, by all accounts, seems like a perfect asshole of the Jerry Springer mold who is not immune from the most inane acts of barbarity. I guess that Olbermann decided that using a right-winger like him to prove that “even conservatives can see that waterboarding is torture” was worth the risk of being used for Muller’s publicity machine…not to mention taking whacks at InSanity and the rest of the Fixed Noise/Boss Limbaugh Machine.

We’ll see together if Mancow is really on the legit, or if he decides to pull a “Gotcha, Keith!! Hahahahaha!!!” and reverse himself.

And as for Gawker.com…nice journalism there, but perhaps you might want to ixnay with the personal attacks on Keith Olbermann for a while. You’re not exactly seen as pure as the driven snow yourselves, and attacking KO’s ego just to inflame your own ratings doesn’t do you much justice, either. If you didn’t own Fleshbot.com, I’d put y’all on the quarantine list…but I’ll give you some slack for now.



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Michelle Bachmann: The Gift That Keeps On Giving…Like Depleted Uranium

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Oh, WOW.

This Michelle Bachmann woman…she really has it BAD.

“It” meaning, the inability to connect her brain from her mouth and not spill so much crap.

Perhaps, she is incapable of understanding that that stuff that spills out of her piehole is probably more appropriate coming out the other end??

This woman is quickly making Helen Chenoweth look like a flaming feminist.

Her latest episode in excresmack took place in the halls of Congress, during a Special Order in opposition to the Hate Crimes Act that passed the US House of Representatives today.  Last night, Bachmann, along with a few of her closet sexual perverts…errrrrrrrrrrrr..closest religious conservative allies, took to the House floor to denounce that bill, which included the inclusion of sexual orientation as a qualifying protection under the “hate crime” statute.

Needless to say, Bachmann opposes the inclusion as a slap against God, family, and country.

And just as needless to say, she was in typical rare form…even for the usual Bachmann overdrive.

C-SPAN’s Congressional Chronicle website has both the full transcriptof the text (placed into the Congressional record) and a vid clip of the explosion.  I will use and comment on excerpts contained within. All quotes are directly as Congresswoman Bachmann spoke them on the House floor.

I want to thank so much my colleague, STEVE KING from Iowa–the “stunning” STEVE KING of Iowa, as he is known in the mainstream media, so grateful for your advocacy, and also for that of Judge GOHMERT. And Judge GOHMERT, I trust that you’re a hanging judge down in the State of Texas.

Steve King, for those who have forgotten, happens to be the Representative from Iowa who is almost as wingnutty as Bachmann…and especially so regarding the “sin” of homosexuality and the dire threat of gay partnerships and gay marriage to his ideals of “Western civilization”. He did, after all, sponsor Iowa’s efforts to outlaw gay domestic partnership laws as an Iowa state senator; and he has been a frequent sponsor and proponent of a constitutional amendment outlawing not only gay marriage but also criminalizing consensual adult gay sex.

And as for the former judge-turned- Congressman Louis Gohmert, who represents the Piney Woods section of Northeast Texas…well, that speaks for itself.

First of all, I just want to say, from my perspective, this appears to me easily to fit the definition of an unjust law. Why do I say that? Because this will bring to Americans more loss of freedom, more loss of rights than we have seen leave in this first 100 days here in Congress because it goes to the very heart of the Bill of Rights. When the Founders passed the Constitution, they would only pass it on one condition, and that is that the Bill of Rights would be passed next.

This is the very first amendment–what many consider the most important amendment–our First Amendment right. And contained in that First Amendment right is the freedom of speech and expression of religious affiliation. And this goes to the heart of taking away American’s right to speech and expression and sincerely held religious beliefs.

WOW…more unjust than the stimulus package?? More unjust than the FY ’09 budget that just passed the House and Senate (and without one Republican in support, too)?? More tyrannus than even Kathleen Seilibus’ and Dawn Johnsen’s nominations?? And more of a loss of freedom than even….well, the illegal spying and tapping of innocent Americans, never mind the imprisoning, torture, and outright denial of legal redress of everyday American citizens?? (Oh, wait…those were Muslim and Arab citizens accused of being al-Quida agents and “terrorists”?? OK, that’s different….they’re not REAL Americans, anyway…just like those damn Democrat Socialists!!!!)

And…maybe I misread my history books, or they must have some kind of thinly veiled “secular progressive”/liberal bias; but I didn’t know that the First Amendment’s freedom of speech provisions were only reserved for religious folk?? Especially…only religious folk who think exactly like….well, Congresswoman Bachmann??? (And weren’t most of the Founding Fathers Deists who basically rejected religious tests for political office?? Or is that just another anti-American myth spouted forth by our Marxist/Leninist/Muslim/Liberal Elitist education system?? I guess only Mrs. Bachmann knows better than we do for sure…I guess.)

I feel that this hate crimes legislation in some ways could be considered the very definition of tyranny because it gives government literally the key over deciding what the thoughts of Americans should be. And it says that Americans could only hold certain opinions and not others, and they can only express certain opinions and not others. Otherwise, it would be seen as a criminal act.

And I think back over this last century of world history, and I think of nations where they called certain expressions of speech not only hateful, but criminal. And that is what this bill does, it regulates speech. Government regulates speech. And it just seems that it is one more chink resulting in the loss of American freedom.

Yup…because attaching additional penalties to crimes committed against homosexuals based solely or predominately on hatred of and bigotry against their favored method of bonding or sex acts is tantimont to the total supression by the Government of all forms of speech. This coming from a woman who just last year called for Congressional hearings on whether or not certain politicians could be declared as “anti-American” based solely on….their thoughts and their speech. I guess that reserving the right to beat the living hell out of such “anti-Americans” would come much later.

Of course, Mrs. Bachmann is simply using the old dodge of “You’re CENSORING US!!!” as a dodge to justify the very acts of speech and content suppression and even the very crimes and laws targeting homosexuals that would be the subject of such “hate crime” legislation. She’s not quite as subtle as Jessie Helms, though, in cloaking her bigotry….however she attempts to bring on the bunting and banners and the flowery rhetoric of the “Founding Fathers”.

But no mention of history can ever come close to the next two paragraphs, where she simply loses all control of her bearings. (Special bolded emphasis added by me.)

[...] I think it also, we could say, denies equal protection under the law. If you have an individual going through a crosswalk and a person is in their car and they hit that person in the crosswalk, it is up to the person who is hit to file the charge if it was a hate crime or not. So if the person is gay, and that is the status that is being protected, and the person driving the car is straight, would it be a hate crime if the person driving the car who is straight hit the person who is gay in the crosswalk? So does it say, then, that that life that was hit in the crosswalk is more valuable because it was a gay life versus if the person who was in the car, who is gay, who hits the person in the crosswalk, who is straight, does that mean that the straight person in the crosswalk doesn’t have a cause of action against the person who is gay who is driving that car? It raises the question of whose life is valuable and whose isn’t. That is the question that Mr. Gohmert raised earlier.

Who will the government prefer? And who decides who gets protected? Are we protecting people on the basis of their behavioral actions; if they choose to have certain actions that are sexual in a certain manner, they get protected when others don’t? Who decides who gets to be the good guy in this situation? Who gets to decide who is the bad guy in this situation?

Umm-hmmm.  So….because gay folk are just as capable of committing violence against “straight” folk, and that gay fella driving that car is just as capable of hit-and-run against that “straight” and “religious” pedestrian, why can’t we bring special charges against the gay person based on anti-Christian hatred?? Why does it have to be only Teh Gheys who get to pile on us moral conservative citizens who are only expressing our deeply held moral beliefs that Teh Gheys should have no rights that good, Godly Christian folk are bound to respect?? Equal protection under the law and all that, you know.

Yeah…and if there was any proof that it was mostly gay/lesbian/bi/transgendered folk who are targeting “straight” people for discrimination and violence, then I guess that there would be no need for hate crimes legislation to begin with.

Problem for Mrs. Bachmann is, though, that in the real world not occupying her twisted, wingnut infested brain cell, it is mostly gay folk who are getting the bitter, sharp, short end of not only direct discrimination, but also horrific violence. And if the majority of the public — you know, Congresswoman Bachmann, that 52% of the population that voted to put Barack Obama the EVOL Socialist/Liberal/Kenyan Candidate into the Presidency and voted your own party out of office — happens to think that homosexuals might actuallydeserve the same rights and principles and dignity and respect as human beings that “straight” people assume for themselves, and insist that their representatives in Congress pass legislation to that effect….well, don’t conservatives believe in majority rule??

Sure they do…as long as they’re in the majority and can impose their will on others, even against their will.

And I would ask this question, is it a moving target? If we give government this level of authority, then easily we can see that down the road government could amend this hate crimes law to say that now a new behavior will be protected.

Yeah……like man-dog or man-box turtle sex will be next.  Or BDSM.  Or…masturbation. Or even…*horrors*….women being allowed to have sex with vibrators and dildos!!!!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Of course, Bachmann would have no problem whatsoever with using the same power of government to force her vision of sexuality (read, permanent monogamy within marriage for the express purpose of making lots and lots of babies for Jesus) on even the unwilling person…so all this talk of the evols of guviment is simply just that…talk.

And there’s another begged question: would Congresswoman Bachman even go so far as to say that even applying the Hate Crimes legislation to the typical examples of discrimination and violence regarding race or gender would be problematic as an overstepping of bounds of government??  I mean…surely she would not say that a KKK attack on a Black family or a Nazi attack on a group of Jews would be accepted as anything less than a “hate crime”??

But remember…to the Hard Religious Right, sex is different. Especially the kind of sex that doesn’t make more Godly babies to despoil the earth and set the stage for His Second Coming through The Rapture.

One thing that was mentioned by Mr. Gohmert earlier, that was brought up by Mr. King, that apparently people who are practicing pedophiles would be considered protected under this legislation, but not, I understand, veterans, not, I understand, pregnant women, not, I understand, 85-year-old grandmothers would be protected under this law. But who would be protected? A pedophile, someone who considers themselves gay, someone who considers themselves transgender, someone who considers  themselves a cross-dresser? That is who is protected.

And yet, think of the impossibility that we are tasking government with. We are asking government to peer into the mind of the individual who perpetrated the crime. Government somehow is so wise, so all knowing that now government can peer into the mind of the individual and can somehow discern if the individual in fact hated the person based upon, potentially, what their sexuality is versus the sexuality of the person who the crime was being perpetrated against. Won’t that be a moving target? Depending on what the new behavior of the day–the behavior du jour, so to speak–that government approves or won’t approve?

Ahhh…Congresswoman Bachmann….I would think that it would not be the government, but the prosecutor of that individual case who would make that call as to whether or not a particular crime deserved the merit of a “hate crime”: this legislation would only give prosecuters that particular option, not force them into it willy-nilly. And I would think that the perpetrator of a “hate crime” would probably leave plenty of motive evidence behind of his hatred…that would be the definition of a “hate crime”, you know.

And what if the person who happened to be attacked was indeed a “pedophile” or a “cross-dresser” or “someone who considered himself ‘gay’ (and why assume a comparison between those category, since last time I checked, cross-dressing, and simply being gay has no relation to being a pedophile??) Is Bachmann somehow implying that the mere accusation of being such justifies being attacked physically, and that the attackers should not only not get “special consideration” for their assaults, but even get preferential treatment??

My, but how low the standards have fallen to be a “conservative” these days.

There is some other blasts there, mostly about how those evol Euros are censoring “traditional conservative beliefs” about homosexuality and the dangers of that attitude creeping into this country if such “hate crimes” legislation became law.  But, I’ll just link you to the full text and let Congresswoman Bachmann’s madness speak for itself.

Nice job, Minnesota….what great wingnutters you have.

More Bachmann Overdrive goodness here, here, and here. (OMF’nG’ess…especially here….”Hoot Smalley” tarriffs?!?!?!)

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Addedum: Oh, hell to the NO, she didn’t!!!  Oh, HELL to the YES, she did:

Talking Points Memo clip of US Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN -06) speaking on the floor of the US House of Representatives (via YouTube; assist from Daily Kos)


Oh….and did you know that Swine Flu pandemics only occur under Democratic administrations?? Actually, they don’t, but since when did truth get in Bachmann’s way?? Observe:


And finally, for the Triple Crown of Wingnut Lunacy, here’s the classic Bachmann on the benefits of carbon dioxide.


Yup….she’s a special one.


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