Memo  to Loansome Roads Beck:

When you trend your lies and deceit and neo-fascist talking points in front of your faithful Fixed Noise/Teabagger audience, you are in good hands.

When you attempt to parlay that BS in front of actual thinking adults, on the other hand, you are on quicksand.

And when you attempt to smear the likes of Rachel Maddow with same BS….well, may heaven help your soul, because it just won’t help your ass from the mudhole it gets stomped into.

It all started when Rachel had Bill Nye (aka, “The Science Guy”) over at her show last Monday to help disprove the misconception and recent right-wing meme ongoing that the recent “Snowmageddon”/”Snowpocalybse” record snowfall that has whacked the US this winter season is the dagger in the theory of “global warming”/”climate change”….that’s the theory that says that the increase in global atmospheric temperatures in the past few years will cause climate changes that could ultimately and radically affect all matters of human life unless radical changes in lifestyle are imposed.

Of course, right wingers like Beck (and his cohorts over at ClusterFox like InSanity, BillO, and Greta von Sustren) see this as  nothing more than the usual commie threat against The Capitalist/Free Market Way, invented by former Vice President Al Gore as merely a way to deny Americans their right to their God-earned profits and land. What got Beck particularly incensed was that Nye had labeled such global warning/climate change skeptics as “unpatriotic”.

Well, Beckster wasn’t going for that….and on his Fixed Noise TV show on Tuesday, he attempted to smear Nye (and by extension Maddow) by challenging their belief that he had even questioned the notion of global warning.

[...]  On his February 12 radio program, Beck responded by falsely asserting: “Nobody’s saying that … who has claimed that this snow storm is proof that global warming doesn’t exist?  How many times have I said, both for hurricanes and no hurricane, this doesn’t — one storm, one storm does not prove anything. It’s a trend.” [via MediaMatters.org article here]

Big Mistake Number One, Mr. Beck….because that night, during a segment of her show, Rachel hit that softball clean out of the park (Taken from the official transcript of The Rachel Maddow Show from last Tuesday, again via Media Matters):

MADDOW [after replaying the clip of Beck challenging her claims of him denying global warning]: Who’s claimed that?  Dude, you have.  A lot.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

BECK: Well, the snow is hammering Washington, D.C. again. I believe God is just saying, “I got your global warming here, eh?  You want a piece of global warming?”

MADDOW: Same radio show. Same guy and it’s not like that was a one-off occurrence.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BECK [February 10 edition of Fox News' Glenn Beck]: I don’t think it takes a genius to see through the “more snow is proof of global warming” claim.

[Fox News guest host Eric Bolling]: Sixty-three percent of the country is now covered in snow. And it’s breaking Al Gore’s heart because the snow is also burying his global warming theory.

SEAN HANNITY, HOST, “HANNITY”: It’s the most severe winter storm in years, which would seem to contradict Al Gore’s hysterical global warming theories. Rumor has it that another storm could be headed this way next week. Global warming, where are you? We want you back.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

MADDOW: Who has claimed that the snowstorm is proof that global warming doesn’t exist? Who has claimed that?  It is one thing to be totally outrageously wrong about facts in science. But the price of that is getting made fun of for it and getting called out on it by, boom, Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Smarter folk would have gotten the hint and given up.  Glenn Beck, fortunately for us, isn’t quite that smart.

Apparently, he thought that he would embarrass Rachel as this loony leftist lesbian liar working for that commie network MSNBC distorting everything he says….so the next day (yesterday), he produced a video blog for his website GlennBeck.com in which he decided to slam Maddow as a liar who distorted what he really said to support her — and by extension, the evil LEEEEEEEBROL media’s — dirty elitist biases. Again, quoting Media Matters:

MADDOW (video clip): Who’s claimed that? Dude, you have. [BECK CUT]  It is one thing to be totally outrageously wrong about facts and science.  But the price of that is getting made fun of for it and getting called out on it, boom, by Bill Nye, the Science Guy. On climate change, new rule – you lie, you must pay the Nye.

BECK: Ah, I see. I’m a liar, but – and here’s the inconvenient truth what was the very next sentence I said that they cut off?

BECK (video clip): Who has claimed that this snowstorm is proof that global warming doesn’t exist? How many times have I said both for hurricanes and no hurricane, this doesn’t – one storm, one storm does not prove anything? It is a trend.

BECK: Kind of nukes your whole point, doesn’t it?  I guess that’s why they didn’t show it. No wonder they sympathize so much with the alarmists who hide and lose key data. Looks like they don’t mind doing exactly the same thing themselves.

In the actual vblog Beck does, Maddow has her eyes electronically shielded, like she’s some secret porn starlet or former Soviet double agent….and the entire clip is captioned with the blazing headline: “Media Shamelessly Attack Glenn: Selective Editing At Its Worst”.

Even Bigger Mistake #2 for Loansome Roads…because that night on her show, Rachel not only rebutted his attempt at smacking her down with her usual low key snark, but noticed something very interesting about Beck’s attack on her for “selective editing”.

Namely, that he engaged in his own selective editing of her remarks.

Hence, I present the rout.

The Rachel Maddow Show (MSNBC): 2/16/10 segment responding to FOX News host Glenn Beck’s videoblog accusing her of distorting his statements on global warming (via YouTube/MSNBC)

Yeah, I agree wholeheartedly…although I’m not so sure that Beck understands the meaning of those words. Still…if he’s that much a glutton for punishment, I say,”Back off, Beck…..DON’T!!!”

You would think that even the densest of wingnuts would give the proper gravitas and respect to natural calamity. That no one would stoop so low as to turn a disaster of cataclysmic proportions into yet another self-promotional, egotistical excuse to shill their personal myopias.

Unfortunately, Rush Limbaugh and the “Reverend” Pat Robertson either didn’t get the memo about being tactful in the face of devastation…or they are just that plain racist, dimwitted, tone-deaf, blind, and generally typical right-wing asshat fuckheads.

Imagine, if you will, if it was, say, Staten Island rather than Haiti that had suffered a cataclysmic 7.0 earthquake that basically flattened even 4-story buildings, wrecked infrastructure, and basically left millions of people in utter chaos not knowing whether or not their friends or family or lovers were even alive.

I’d probably suspect that you wouldn’t be hearing any talk of blaming the victims for creating their own doom, or accusing those officials rushing over to give whatever assistance they could of playing political games.

But..when the country is Haiti, the US President is Barack Obama, and the bulk of the victims happen to be Black….well, let’s say that the temptations of some of our more racist and chauvinistic politicos and spokespersons are just a bit too much to resist.

First, to “Rev”. Pat, who has long had a fabled history of seeing pain and suffering as “God’s will” and “God’s revenge” on the victims for not living right — as in ‘not living right-wing as good, fascist fundie Christians should live”. (Remember how he amd the now departed Jerry Falwell blamed the terrorist attacks of 9-11-2001 on “atheists”, homosexuals, and “abortionists”?? Or how he basically predicted that Florida would suffer through hurricanes due to Walt Disney World’s dangerous tolerance of queers??) Yesterday on his syndicated program The 700 Club, rhe Far Right-eous Reverend decided to put his foot in it again, this time discussing why Haiti had such a horrible string of natural disasters. (That country had been devastated earlier by Hurricanes Fay, Gustav, and Ike, as well as non-tropical flooding, not to mention the aftereffects of political and ethnic strife and economic imperialism, the Duvalier dictatorship, and just being the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.)

And you know Christy, something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French, uh you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French. True Story, and so the Devil said OK it’s a deal. And they kicked the French out. You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they’ve been cursed by one thing after the other desperately poor. That island is Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle. On one side is Haiti on the other side is the Dominican republic. Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc.. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island. They need to have and we meed to pray for them a great turning to god and out of this tragedy I’m optimistic something good may come.

Oh, I see….so it’s that damn Voudou (only ignorant Westerners still refer to the native magickal tradition as “voodoo”) and the foolishness of Toussaint :L’Overture in thinking that Black slaves there actually deserved to be the equal of the White man that condemns Haiti to such bad luck….but, if they would just get right with Jesus Christ, then all would be much better and they’d enjoy the prosperity of their enterprising brothers on the other side of the island. Or..so says Rev. Pat.

Of course, it would have been even pathetic even if Robertson got almost everything in his rant wrong…like, the fact that it was Napoleon Bonaparte, NOT Napoleon III, who ruled Haiti in the name of France at the time of the slave revolt. Or the fact that that “deal with the devil” not only helped that nation achieve their freedom, but ultimately greatly benefited the United States, since it was the bleeding dry of Napoleon’s troops and funds that prompted him to give up the entire Louisiana Territory — not only New Orleans and what is now the state of Louisiana, but the whole damn territory running from Canada down to the Gulf — for what would be considered as the bargin of the millenia at $10 million.

It took Haiti’s ambassador to the US to put down Rev. Pat’s senility but good.

The Rachel Maddow Show (MSNBC): 1-12-10 Segment with Haitian Ambassador to the US Raymond Joseph reacting to Pat Robertson’s “pact with the devil caused Haiti’s suffering” smack (via YouTube)

There’s wingnut history…and then there’s REAL history. Too bad all of Rev. Pat’s millions couldn’t get him an actual book to read other than the Old Testament.

But, at least Rev. Pat has the legitimate excuse of senility.

Rush Limbaugh, on the other hand, simply knows better…he’s just that much of a racist asshole.

Jabba the Fat-Ass Oxycontin Addict/Football Analyst decided yesterday te bring his own verbal diarrhea to the debate, using his junk box of a radio talk show to focus on Prez O’s immediate response to the tragedy, incorporating it to his usual rants of “Obama the Magic Negro attempting to play the Black community” meme and his ceaseless comparison to the response to the “Underpants Bomber” aborted attack in Detroit earlier this month.

All the quotes following are taken from Media Matters via their “Limbaugh Wire” column of yesterday.

LIMBAUGH: I want you to remember it took [Obama] three days — three days — to respond to the Christmas Day Fruit of Kaboom bomber. Three days. And when he came out after those three days, he was clearly irritated that he had to do it. He didn’t want to do it. He comes out here in less than 24 hours to speak about Haiti.

[...]

Oh, this is what he lives for. He lives for serving those in misery. Now don’t misunderstand here, folks. See, this is — I wonder — I don’t have the whole press conference, but I wonder: Did he apologize for America before acknowledging we are the only people on Earth that can possibly help them out down there in any significant way?

Oh, but let’s just compare….three days to react to an attempted plane bombing that ends up killing no one, with the offender arrested and placed in custody (and compared to the six days it took for Dubya to respond to the earlier Richard Reid “Shoe Bomber” attempt)….versus 24 hours to react to a major devastating 7.0 earthquake near the capital city of a major low-lying and heavily populated area in the Western Hemisphere, with a potential death toll moving into tens of thousands, if not the hundreds of thousands. But, hey, it’s just those shiftless nigg…..ahhh, I mean, those welfare queen and gangsta Blacks, so why should we decent conservatives give a shit…ehhhh, Rushbo??.

So, why is Obama sooooo worried about those poor folk?? Can’t be because of human empathy for suffering and cataclysmic disaster, or simply the human need to lend a hand to those in need.  Naaaah….must be something more political and nefarious afoot…like, domestic politics, maybe??

LIMBAUGH: Yes, I think in the Haiti earthquake, ladies and gentlemen — in the words of Rahm Emanuel, we have another crisis simply too good to waste. This will play right into Obama’s hands — humanitarian, compassionate. They’ll use this to burnish their — shall we say — credibility with the black community, in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community, in this country. It’s made-to-order for ‘em. That’s why he couldn’t wait to get out there. Could not wait to get out there.

Hmmmm….so actually sending our best and brightest people and resources to a country in complete chaos and disorder following a natural disaster of untold magnitude isn’t motivated by moral kindness and urgency…but plain old fashioned Machevellian realpolitick.  Yeah, right, Rush, you fuckhead, just like what Dubya and “Heck of a job” Brownie did during Hurricane Katrina. And just like Dubya did when he rushed himself to New York City to aid the victims of 9-11…oh, wait, he didn’t???

Ohh, but wait, El Rushbo’s not quite finished with this:

LIMBAUGH: That place, Haiti, has been run by dictators and communists. And how long is it gonna be, how long is it gonna be before we hear Obama and the left in this country say that what we really need to do is reinstate the communist Aristide to the leadership position down there to coordinate putting the country back together? The Haitian economy is entirely dependent on foreign aid. They produce nothing — zilch, zero, nada.

Awwww, come on, Rush….you’re not going to give Papa Doc and Baby Doc Duvalier and the Tonton Macoutes their due for ruling Haiti with an iron fist for the benefit of United Fruit and Chiquita??  Or for doing you and your “business” allies the favor of toppling Jean-Bertrand Aristide from power (and slaughtering hundreds of thousands in the process in the name of progress and prosperity)?? And actually, putting Aristide and the people back in power would be a great idea…for later. Saving lives and getting things in some sembulance of order takes first priority right now.

But even with all that, you would think that that small, tiny smidget of a soul that wasn’t cut out of Limbaugh’s heart after his recent surgery would enable him to at least support efforts to get funds and relief to the people struggling for basic survival. Yeah, sure he would…as long as it’s not organized by the Obama White House.

LIMBAUGH: Would you trust the money’s gonna go to Haiti?

CALLER: No.

LIMBAUGH: But would you trust that your name is gonna end up on the mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes?

CALLER: Absolutely.

LIMBAUGH: Absolutely right.

CALLER: That’s the point.

LIMBAUGH: Besides, we’ve already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income tax.

Yeah…the same income tax that donates $3 BILLION a year of foreign aid to the state of Israel to maintain nuclear overkil. And I though that right-wingers like Limbaugh wanted to do away with income taxes as evil Marxism incarnate??

Blackened hearts like those that beat from Limbaugh and Robertson can only be pitied by those of us with normally functioning brain cells and morals…but the fact that these charletons are able to actually thrive and profit off other people’s sufferings and pain, and even use such as a talking point for their mockery, is just plain pathetic. But then again, this is America, where bigotry sells.

I’ll just leave Olbermann to pass the true and final consensus judgment on these fools, as only KO can.

Countdown with Keith Olbermann (MSNBC): 1/13/10 “Quick Comment” on the rantings of Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh on the Haiti calamity (via YouTube)